Witty and Bold

herohigh @ 2009-02-05T15:34:00

2009-02-05T20:34:39Z

So I'm only taking one class a semester until I have residency, and this semester it's Introduction to Literature.

This is surprisingly painful. I'm not sure if this class is required for every major or what, but I think I'm the only person in the class going for a Comparative Literature degree. I'm not even sure if there's an English major in the class. We have to discuss literary interpretations on an online discussion board and it is amazing how depressing it is to me.

It's not that my classmates are unintelligent or even unrefined. It's that they don't care about literature and they don't have any reason to care about literature. It's as if I was taking a class on advanced engineering in a class made up entirely of non-engineers. They just don't think in terms of literary analysis, which means I don't get anything out of their commentary, and the class isn't relevant to what they want to do with their lives so they have no reason to care about my long-winded bullshitting on themes and implications and techniques. There's a huge difference between literary analysis and literary appreciation, but learning to analyze rather than appreciate is pretty worthless unless you want to devote some section of your life to it. The rest of the class doesn't seem to be learning all that much because they don't have any reason to, and I don't feel like I am because the class is pretty much entirely made up of reading assignments, in-class student discussions, and online student discussions. I just feel like I'm masturbating to myself whenever I give my interpretations of the stories we've been given, my interpretations are so far off from what everyone else's are.

I think things'll get a lot better when I'm in classes with more specific focuses, but for now I feel completely alien in mindset to the rest of the class. I wish the teacher would give us some analytic tools to work with rather than just moderating discussions between people who were never taught how to dissect a story. The problem with writing is that there are very much tools and techniques that differentiate between professional and amateur writing, but it's all psychic and internal, and as such completely invisible to anyone who hasn't been taught about it. People are a lot more willing to tell a writer how to do his job than they ever would be willing to tell, say, an architect, and it's for this reason. There are a lot of ways a poorly built house can fall apart, and it's the same with a poorly built story, but if you've never been taught what these ways are a lot of the time they can catch you completely off guard. This class is like a bunch of architect armatures being told to build a house without even understanding concepts like load-bearing walls. Worse yet, most of the class never plans on becoming architects, so even if they did learn it'd be mostly a waste of time for them. I really wish the teacher would spend some time laying out how literature works, rather than just asking us to interpret it blindly. I'm completely self taught, so I'm sure I have horrific blind spots myself, and I don't see myself learning anything about them in this class. It's a good excuse to read some interesting short stories (Kafka's next, fuck yes), but I just feel like with a single class worth of clear lecturing it could be so much more than that.

Unrelated to all this, the MahJong games are going nicely. We had our second ranked game last night. I seem to have a knack for coming in second. I'm sure nobody cares, but the stats from all the ranked games end up on This Spreadsheet.

herohigh @ 2009-02-01T13:31:00

2009-02-01T18:32:13Z

So I've completed a full first month of my dream journal. 31 dreams in 31 days. I didn't dream every night, but for every night I didn't dream I had a night with two dreams separate enough that I recorded them apart. I've tagged each dream with whatever its primary themes were.

I have the feeling that my dreams might get weird over the next few weeks. Things just turned pretty grim on this end in a way I'd rather not discuss with the internet. These 31 all take place before things turned, though.

A few things turned up over and over again through the dreams.

Locations
New York (6) and Underwater (6) were by far the two most common locations in my dreams. I didn't realize New York was so much a part of my subconscious, but I think the underwater thing is pretty hilariously textbook. Small Towns (3) came in third, which also surprised me. I've only lived in a small town for a month of my life, back when I did the dino-bone work in Thermopolis, Wyoming. Honestly, though, I do miss it. It only had a population of 3000, which was smaller than the size of my high school. People there were very. . .unique. I also dreamed about being back at my Old Job (2) at Curascript, but at no other place I've worked. I guess that place did teach me a lot. Mostly to appreciate Kafka. Also noteworthy were Apocalypse (2), Other Dimensions (2), Shopping Center (2), Abandoned Building (1), Bathroom (1), Canada (1), Fake Job (1), Mountain (1), Prison (1), Road Trip (1), School (1), Snow (1), Space (1), Time Travel (1), Train (1), and Underground (1).

People
The most common other people I dealt with through the month were Generic Friends (13), shadowy faceless figures I regard as my friends but who only really exist when the dream needs them. I think this is pretty normal. I was actually surprised that Real Friends (8) kept popping into my dreams so frequently. Some acted like they do in real life, some very much not so, and I managed to go the month only having an embarrassing erotic experience with one of them. Really, though, if I keep this journal up and honest it's only a matter of time until I sleep with every woman I know. These things happen. Pop Culture (4) figures popped up somewhat frequently, specific real life celebrities or fictional characters. Two of them were ones I'd have said weren't important to my psyche, namely The Joker and Neil Patrick Harris. I didn't actually even know who Neil Patrick Harris was until I wiki'ed him after I woke up. His name just popped up. I'm not all that surprised by Dio or Ann Coulter, though. Another repeating theme was Personal Rivals (3), who I spent the entire dream struggling against. Not all of these were people, but they all had personalities and are listed here. Also noteworthy: Spies (2), Fake Family (1), Family (1), Historic Figures (1), Penis (1), and Wizard (1).

Creatures
Non-human entities are extremely common in my dreams, almost as common as humans. Monsters (9) were easily the most common, broken up into Aquatic Monsters (2), Humanoid Monsters (2), Chimera Monsters (1), Flying Monsters (1), Insectoid Monsters (1), Shadow Monsters (1), Shapeshifting Monsters (1), Spirit Monsters (1), and Zombie Monsters (1). Despite this, I wouldn't call any of the dreams nightmares. The only figure that ever killed me was Neil Patrick Harris. If anything, I usually did a pretty good job of uppercutting monsters' heads off without effort. Is it unusual that monsters are such common features of my dreams? I'm curious about other peoples' dreams. Dinosaurs (4) were also very common, which seems to be a holdover from my childhood obsession with them. Normal everyday Animals (2) and Bugs (2) popped up every now and then, but not nearly as often as monsters or dinosaurs. Weird. An AI (1) popped up once, but no other robot activity.

Actions
What myself and others actually did in the course of the dream was much less unified than the actors that worked through them. I engaged in Epic Battles (4) and I Killed (4), although there wasn't a large amount of overlap between the two. Everyone Else Died (4) a few times, but I Died (1) only once, in the explosion from a pink nuke. Sex (3) was less frequent than murder, and I wasn't necessarily the one performing it. Romance (1) as a dominant theme was even less common, and had no overlap with sex, but popped up a few times as incoherent side-pieces of the dreams. Unintentional Travel (3) didn't happen nearly as much as I thought it would. I'm really bad at driving in dreams. My brakes don't work, my car responds sluggishly, I end up missing exits and flying down unintentional side-roads. It's just awful. These and tidal wave dreams are the two closest things I have to nightmares, although these are more frustrating than anything else. Also notable: Dilemmas (2), Escape (2), Fucking Up (2), Authority Abuse (1), Birth (1), Conspiracy (1), Despair (1), Drunk (1), Exile (1), Famine (1), Journey (1), Nudity (1), Nukes (1), Public Performance (1), Puzzles (1), Scam (1), Scandal (1), Some People Die (1), and The Internet (1).

Themes
Some things in dreams aren't really classifiable as locations, people, creatures, or actions. I had Dreams About Dreams (3) in which I either dreamed I woke up and recorded the dream or went to sleep half way through and led into a new dream. The first of the two led to extremely confusing mornings when I had to remember if I actually had recorded the dream or not. The Dream Was Fiction (3) a few times, where the dream is explicitly a movie, video game, or story being told within the framework of the dream. I'm Not Myself (3) happened a few times, where in the dream I adopted an entirely new persona. I had Supernatural Powers (3) a few times, although this doesn't count being strong enough to punch out a monster's brain unless I did it in some especially unnatural way. The dream was coated by Unreal Reality (3), in which the world is like it is in reality, but twisted into absurdity by a single piece of unreality. Video Games (3) were referenced a somewhat shameful amount, as was Manga (2). Lovecraftian (2) themes came up a bit, but I'm pretty harsh on what that means exactly. Tentacles aren't quite enough, it has to have the appropriate mood of madness. Also notable: Multiple Personalities (1), The Occult (1).

EDIT: Actually, I went and re-tagged it all. The new tags are:

Setting
Underwater (8), New York (6), Apocalypse (3), Concrete Halls (3), Fake Home (3), Small Town (3), Underground (3), Another Dimension (2), Old Jobs (2), Real Home (2), Apartment (1), Bathroom (1), Canada (1), Elevators (1), Fake Job (1), Hotel (1), Malls (1), Military Complex (1), Mountains (1), Natural Disaster (1), Park (1), Parties (1), Prison (1), School (1), Snow (1), Space (1), Supertech (1), Swamp (1), Time Travel (1), Train (1), Virtual World (1)

People
Generic Friends (16), Real Friends (8) [Andrew (1), Anna S (1), Daryl Surat (1), Eli (1), Kai (1), Miko (1), Sharon (1), Sheila (1), Vanessa (1), Wade (1)], Celebrities (4), Rival (3), Family (2), Police (2), Spies (2), Wizards (2), Doctors (1), Fake Family (1), Hillbillies (1), Historic Figures (1), Jerks (1), Mad Scientists (1), Mistress (1), Old Coworkers (1), Penis (1), Students (1), The Mayor (1)

Creatures
Monsters (8) [Aquatic Monsters (3), Chimera Monsters (1), Humanoid Monsters (1), Shadow Monsters (1), Shapeshifting Monsters (1), Space Monsters (1), Zombie Monsters 1], Dinosaurs (4), Animals (3) [Bulls (1), Gators (1), Tiger Cubs (1)], Bugs (2), AI (1), Pet (1), Spirits (1)

Actions
Epic Battles (5), Fucking Up (5), Unintentional Travel (5), Creature Attack (4), I Kill (4), Journey (4), Everyone Else Dies (3), Frolicking (3), Madness (3), Sex (3), Romance (3), Shopping (3), Authority Abuse (2), Climbing (2), Dilemma (2), Escape (2), Poison (2), Public Performance (2), Some Others Die (2), Authority Disappointment (1), Betrayal (1), Birth (1), Bluffing (1), Body Mutilation (1), Clocks (1), Clownery (1), Conspiracy (1), Debt (1), Despair (1), Disappearances (1), Driving (1), Getting Drunk (1), Exile (1), Famine (1), Foiled At Every Turn (1), I Die (1), Infiltration (1), Keys (1), Manga (1), Monster Metamorphosis (1), Nudity (1), Nukes (1), Parenting (1), Produce Art (1), Puzzles (1), Rescue (1), Scamming (1), Scandal (1), Shame (1), Sneaking (1), The Internet (1), Touching Moment (1), Traps (1), Urination (1), View The Past (1), World Domination (1)

Themes
Supernatural Powers (4) [Giant Powers (1), Mimicry Power (1), Reality Control Power (1)], Surreal World (4), Dreaming About Dreaming (3), I'm Not Me (3), Story Is Video Game (3), Lovecraftian (2), Movie References (2), Multiple Identities (2), Video Game References (2), The Occult (2), I'm A Star (1), Manga References (1)

I was really surprised at how coherent most of the dreams have been. I do a little bit of cutting away incoherency when I record the dreams, and I don't record dreams that are just collections of incoherent events and images, but I never add anything that I didn't actually dream to make the dream make sense. I actually noticed I was developing a fearful habit about half-way through the month. I would get really upset at myself if I didn't feel like my dream had enough literary merit, like there was something wrong with me for dreaming some dumb dream where I just walk around a supermarket with a wizard. Once I noticed I was doing it, though, I realized how ridiculous it was and more or less stopped. Right now my worry is that I've only got a one dream buffer, so if I don't dream for two nights in a row I'll be out of content to post. I think if that happens I might just start posting "best of"'s from my past.

My top 5 dreams of this month:
1) Andrew Is Pregnant (01/14/09)
2) Poison Hose (01/12/09)
3) Abe Lincoln (01/10/09)
4) Wall Dick (01/19/09)
5) The Salamander-Shark (01/01/09)

herohigh @ 2009-01-03T19:35:00

2009-01-04T00:35:33Z

One of the gifts I got for Christmas was a hand-held audio-recorder.

I've started waking up in the mornings and immediately narrating everything I can remember of my dreams into the device.

I'm posting the results of this to a tumblr account. I can only upload one file a day, but I'm going to make a goal of doing so.

The dream-posts are here. The feed is http://lobsterdream.tumblr.com/rss if you want to add it to your rss feed.

I'm going to assign tags to the dreams for reasons of hilarity and self-analysis. Already, things are kind of grim and hilarious.

I also have an image-journal on tumblr, where I just post one picture a day from my image folder. It's kind of masturbatory and has a really pretentious name, but I like it. You can find it here.

I don't know if I'll be able to stay constant with my updates while I'm in Florida over next week, but I'll try.

I'm looking forward to seeing all of you again.

herohigh @ 2008-12-31T18:47:00

2008-12-31T23:47:46Z

OH MAN

COHOS ARE THE COOLEST THINGS EVER.

herohigh @ 2008-12-31T18:17:00

2008-12-31T23:17:27Z

It's 23 degrees outside.

Is this the night I freeze to death?

herohigh @ 2008-12-19T11:41:00

2008-12-19T16:41:59Z

The world. . .has become a snow-globe.

herohigh @ 2008-11-05T01:18:00

2008-11-05T06:18:45Z

I ended up spending the election with five other UF veterans. We sat around yelling at Florida until it turned blue.

This feeling. . .a lack of resignation on Election Night.

It's so alien.

herohigh @ 2008-11-01T14:47:00

2008-11-01T18:47:34Z

2,439 / 50,000
(4.9%)

Things are moving along well for the most part, although I am worried that I'm almost a thousand words beyond schedule and I haven't even gotten to the meat of my outline's allocated first day's work. I may be forced to edit down the number of days the story takes place across.

So far it's just been Employee Ethical and Mental Hygienic Evaluation tests and sitting around in waiting rooms. Nobody's even shot anyone yet. Nobody's even gone to a futuristic TGIF and vomited after drinking too much yet.

I'm having a lot of fun. This is going to be a good month.

This is going to be such a bad month.

herohigh @ 2008-11-01T01:05:00

2008-11-01T05:05:33Z

I ate too much pizza and Jello

And I came home

And I sat down

And oh my fucking god NaNo's begun.

In this month I plan to:

-Have a mental breakdown.

-Become an alcoholic.

-Spend far too much time sitting in front of my computer in my underwear writing Kafkaesque sex scenes.

-Use the word Kafkaesque at EVERY available opportunity.

-Wear a lot of argyle.

-Write something slightly more pleasant to look at than a turd.

This journal is where I will come when things get bad.

I think I will start now.

herohigh @ 2008-10-27T14:01:00

2008-10-27T18:01:24Z

I've finally brought enough of my stuff up from North Carolina to be able to get settled into my room.

Things are different up here. Things don't get messy. I get writing done. I spend maybe one or two days a week out with friends, in contrast to Orlando where I honestly can not remember the last day I spent in solitude. I should know if I'll be starting Hunter in January within the next week or two. I haven't eaten fast food since I moved up. I've lost my pot-belly.

Fucking weird.

I've become slightly agoraphobic, and I'm torn on if this is something I should cultivate or try to shake off.

I took pictures of my room here. I've brought them onto the internet for you guys.

This is what you see when you walk in the door. Before this room was "Misha's room" it was "the blue room."

I sleep on the couch. It actually folds out into a bed, but Jesus Christ are futon beds uncomfortable.

The closet's pretty full, even though I really don't have too many clothes here. Important parts of this photo: Skull, Unicorn, Beanie Baby, Toilet Paper.

The book shelf. I've only brought enough to read over to use one of the rows for myself, the rest of the books are my grandfather's. It should be pretty obvious which is mine.

This is where I do my work. Surrounded by bidoofs and crabs and bees and things. Memories of Orlando. I miss you guys. :/

The view out my window is pretty badass. Check this shit out.

Finally, a strange piece of my past. I think I drew this when I was 6 or something. Apparently I was a very modern child.

herohigh @ 2008-10-14T20:38:00

2008-10-15T00:38:13Z

Facebook now has pictures of the gang back in high school.

Here and here.

Oh, memories.

herohigh @ 2008-10-10T15:51:00

2008-10-10T19:51:47Z

1000 Pictures!

The folders have been numbered randomly. The participants have been listed below. See if you can match the folder numbers to the livejournal names.

souvay
kichara
bad_samaritan
robotazalea
mmiayiuckoi
basilisk128
herohigh
phylumerzte
octacon52
Justin

Whoever wins attains the Ultimate Prize.

herohigh @ 2008-10-06T11:05:00

2008-10-06T15:05:30Z

I've got 700 images so far, and I'm expecting three more people to send me sets. Hopefully we'll be looking at an even 1000.

Everything looks really good so far, and amazingly enough I've only caught two duplicates. Who would have known that Kim Jong Ill and Colonel Sanders would be so popular?

The last few days have all been me setting up databases for my character ideas and other things like that. It's not exactly writing, but I guess it's something. My grandfather's out of the hospital again, though, so hopefully I'll be unstressed enough to write as normal for a while again.

I'm really looking forward to NaNoWriMo this year.

herohigh @ 2008-09-30T21:45:00

2008-10-01T01:45:25Z

I've spent a lot of time working on my Inspirational Art directory, tagging all the images for easy access.

It's a pretty monster project, but I've been putting a bit into it each day for a while now. There are a bit over 3000 images, and all the important tags have been applied.

I've spent so much time staring at all of them, however, that I've decided I want to do another image exchange. Sort of like what I did in 2005.

Basically, I want anyone interested to compress their 100 best images into a zip or rar or whatever and send it to me. My email is listed on my info page, you can AIM me, or whatever. Once I think everyone's submitted who's going to I throw them all into a torrent and we all guess which folder of 100 images correspond to which people. The winner gets respect. Internet respect.

It's all just an excuse for me to loot the cream of your image directories for my own selfish reasons, but in a way that lets me return some cream your way. Spread the cream around. Share the cream among friends.

So, who's in?

herohigh @ 2008-09-12T16:32:00

2008-09-12T20:53:01Z

New York so far has been pretty good.

I haven't really left the house all that much, but I'm slowly finding my niche.

I've gotten more writing done in the last three days than I did in Orlando in the last two or so months.

I know a surprising number of people in this town already, whom I've been getting in touch with over the last few days. Last night was Cheese-Steak night with Lis and next Monday looks like karaoke with Erin and the Podcast Crew. It also turns out that Jake, my old college roommate, is in town. This is a pleasant surprise, since I sort of figured that we had parted ways post-college for good.

I spent all of today ironing all the clothes I brought. Space Bags do a pretty fantastic job of saving space but they managed to wrinkle clothes I did not know were capable of wrinkling.

My computer is in NC. This is sad.

I really only managed to bring bare necessities with me to New York. In about a month I'm going to be visiting NC again and hopefully I can bring up a more sizable batch of books and so on with me.

I really don't know what my life here is going to be like, yet. I think I'm looking forward to finding out.

herohigh @ 2008-07-27T18:16:00

2008-07-27T22:16:28Z

Oh my god, does Plato make me angry.

Fuck that guy.

:/

herohigh @ 2008-06-19T22:44:00

2008-06-20T02:48:17Z

The Happening was a fantastic movie.

Easily on par with Lady in the Water.

EASILY ON PAR WITH LADY IN THE WATER.

herohigh @ 2008-03-26T00:14:00

2008-03-26T05:14:18Z

I wish I was as cool as Chef Paul Prudhomme.

Two great things Chef Paul Prudhomme has done in his life:

1. Invented turducken.

2. Deflected bullet.

herohigh @ 2008-03-21T15:08:00

2008-03-21T20:08:22Z

The most recent Smash Bros/Exercise Medley Life Challenge went pretty well.

Updates on the website.

The new top 10 list:

1st. Alexander-929
2nd. Outcry-836
3rd. Vexxi-767
4th. Boogich-710
5th. Nicole-616
6th. Broken-608
7th. Athena-595
8th. Rangod-567
9th. Bidoof-550
10th. Otsp-533

A bunch of people are having trouble with the next date so I'll probably move it back a week. Facebook invites to be sent out in the near future.

herohigh @ 2008-03-14T12:04:00

2008-03-14T16:04:44Z

LIFE CHALLENGE UPDATE

For a multitude of reasons, this upcoming Life Challenge is going to be rescheduled for Thursday, March 20th. Still 7:00, my house.

See you then.

herohigh @ 2008-03-12T09:41:00

2008-03-12T14:41:03Z

My mother was just interviewed by The School of Russian and Asian Studies.

This is really cool.

Also, about half way down there's a picture of my parents at about my age. I can't get over how much of a hardass my father looks in the picture.

(He's the one on the left.)

herohigh @ 2008-03-06T16:17:00

2008-03-06T21:17:23Z

I was on the computer just now when my mouse froze and the computer started screaming robot/ghost howls at me.

I turned the speakers off but the noises didn't stop.

I am. . .terrified?

herohigh @ 2008-03-06T00:02:00

2008-03-06T05:02:05Z

herohigh @ 2008-03-01T01:41:00

2008-03-01T06:41:05Z

I coughed so hard I puked.

Gu~rossssss

herohigh @ 2008-02-22T00:16:00

2008-02-22T05:18:12Z

The next 3 Life Challenges:

March 1st, 7:00PM.
Eating Contest/Fashion Contest
Show up at Cici's dressed as flatteringly as possible. Votes will be cast on people's outfits and pizza will be consumed in a competitive manner.

March 15th, 7:00PM
Smash Bros Brawl/Fitness Challenge
Get ready for push ups and pretending to make Nintendo characters punch each other, because these are things that will be happening tonight.

March 29th, 7:00PM
Dodgeball/Math Test
This is a high school themed night. People will throw balls a lot, and then realize they don't remember how to do semi-simple math AT ALL.

Nobody really seemed to think weekday matches were convenient, so we're not doing them any more. If any of these days turn out to be on the days of other big events they will be shifted around.

Also, the website is up-ish. You all should go there. I just grabbed random photos off people's myspaces, so if you have one you'd rather I used just send it to me. If you don't have a picture there, then I need one from you.

Only a few challenges have happened so far, so don't be disheartened if your score is low. Once we run tests on all the attributes I think people are going to even out a lot more.